Discovery of Densest Element Known to Man

A major research scientific institution has just announced the discovery of the densest element yet known to man and science. The new element has been named Bushcronium. The scientific symbol for the new Bushcronium is the letter "W". Bushcronium has one neutron, twelve assistant neutrons, seventy-five deputy neutrons, and two hundred and twenty-four assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of three hundred and eleven. These particles are held together by dark forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Bushcronium's mass actually increases over time, as morons randomly interact with various elements in the atmosphere and become assistant deputy neutrons in a Bushcronium molecule, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to believe that Bushcronium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity or concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". When catalyzed with money, Bushcronium activates FoxNewsium, an element that radiates orders of magnitude with more energy, albeit as incoherent noise, since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons.